The Day That Changed Me Forever

I knew something was different this time, I could feel it in my gut. I sat at my desk like any other day, my phone rang and I saw the number, that number and my stomach dropped. I got up, called that number from my manager's desk and I heard the voice on the other end. I explained who I was and all I heard on the other end was, "I need to speak to the eldest, I recommend that all her kids be her with her." I dropped the phone and broke down crying. It was a haze. I remember someone walking me to the car and off I went. Never had I drove quicker. It felt like moments before I had arrived to the hospital. I rushed upstairs and walked into the room. There I stood alone in silence looking at the woman who gave me life. I stepped out in tears and asked the nurse what was going on, all he kept telling me is I had to wait for my sister. Minutes later, she arrived and we asked again; they muttered the words that will never sound faint to me, "there is nothing else we can do."

We stepped back into the room, stood by her bed, held her hand and with tears streaming down our face told her we loved her and kissed her forehead. She was unresponsive but still breathing; she could see us but not speak to us. We stayed by her side the entire time and watched as family piled in and said their goodbyes. The day continued on, it felt like forever. Every minute of that day broke a part of my soul a little more. They told us we had time, so we were going to meet with Hospice at 2 pm to see what our options were but apparently there was an alternate plan in the works. Before our appointment, the doctors told us it doesn't look like she'll have more than a day or so. We continued to try and get our brother down here to Florida as soon as possible but it was difficult.

Evening approached and my sister and I weren't at our strongest points, we were both feeling sick and weak and a million other things that I couldn't explain to you all, even if I tried. I sent her, her husband and her children off to get food so at least they would have somewhat of a strength to get us through what was undeniably going to be the longest night of our lives thus far.

One thing that you should know about me is that I always and I mean always had my phone or phones with me at all times while my mom was sick.

Right after my sister and her family stepped out, the nurse walked into the crowded ICU waiting room filled with my family members and asked to speak with the daughter which was me. I got up and left both phones sitting on a chair. As soon as I walked out the nurse looked at me and sadly said, "she has minutes." I freaked out, ran back to call my sister but by the time I called her, turned around and walked into the room, there I saw the nurse unplugging the machines. It happened. Seconds had passed and just like that, Heaven had received another angel. My heart dropped, I panicked, I cried and I didn't want to let go. My sister walked in and she too broke down. After our goodbyes, family members shuffled in and we said a prayer.

That moment lives on in me forever, speaking of it, writing about it, thinking about it; all of it still plays vividly in my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY. That day changed me forever. At first, it crushed me and I crumbled. It took months and months and months for me to slowly pick up the pieces and rebuild myself. The person talking to you today is a lot stronger, a lot wiser, a lot happier than the girl that stepped into that hospital almost thirty months ago. Now accepting that she is in a better place and no longer suffering; I go on every day doing better each one for her, my once on Earth Guardian Angel now in Heaven.